Where Are My Pockets?

Photo above: Emily McCrory (middle) pictured with her daughters Ryann (2) and Devynn (1). The only pockets in this picture are rear pockets and a miniature pocket inside of the fake Jean pocket...on the pink jeggings of the baby.

Dear women’s clothing:

There’s something you need to know... I’ve been putting up with it for a long time now, but I’m at a point in my life now where I really don’t care what you or anyone else thinks. If you don’t have pockets...you’re useless to me. There’s kids in the picture now... and they want my phone. Sitting on it... is not an acceptable solution. Tucking it into the couch...wastes 20 minutes of my “free time” while I’m attempting to fish it back out. Putting it away... means my husband is furious that he couldn’t reach me when he needed to know what’s for dinner. Bras... ARE NOT POCKETS! Stop making me stoop to this level! Plus, my kid is up in there every few hours anyway, so that defeats the purpose immediately.

Put pockets in my clothes. And not those miniature pockets that can only hold a Polly Pocket circa 1999. (WTF are those interior Jean pockets even for??? One key? Who carries around one lonely key? I know I’d certainly lose it immediately...unless I had a miniature Jean pocket inside my Jean pocket! Men...)

Give me a pocket that I can fit my whole hand in... and (is it even possible) wiggle my fingers! I want my whole phone to fit in there... not just the home button. And be generous... no exterior article of clothing is off limits. Dresses? Brilliant. Shirt? You betcha! Leggings? I hope the lady who came up with that idea is swimming in dough.

With that being said, if a pocket is useless, I’m not using it. No self-respecting female is putting anything in the boob pocket of her button-down. I’m not the designer here so don’t expect me to do your job for you... but as long as over-sized clothing is in style, there’s no reason to make a shirt the size of a tent that can’t hold anything!!

I don’t think this is too much to ask. I mean, men never had to and I wouldn’t be surprised to find a pocket in a pair of boxer briefs. I know we have purses and diaper bags and Fanny packs and clutches, but if you’re worried about the money, having a pocket is not going to stop us from buying more bags!

I have no leverage here. I can’t threaten to stop wearing clothes because let’s be honest, that’s not a win for me (I’m cold in most of the clothes I wear anyway) and it’s most definitely a win for a few too many of the men out there too. So I have a proposition for you. I could be wrong, but I think it’s sensible. Ready? If you put pockets in women's’ clothes...decent-sized, functional, stylish pockets...I will...(wait for it...).... BUY THEM!

That’s all.

Sincerely (tired of living in unnecessary inconvenience),


PS - At the wise age of three, my niece was convinced that pants with pockets were “boy pants.” Check out your local toddler section...she’s not wrong. Pass this pocket memo onto your friends in the kids’ department...no reason why girl moms should have to miss out on the beautiful sound of a rock collection clanging around in the washing machine. K, thanks bye!

#fit4momlsbwk #psa #womensclothingfail #girlsneedpocketstoo #girlscollectrocks