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Marriage after Kids

How I Keep my Husband From Being Another Item on my ‘To-Do’ List

Do you often sit and wonder where the day has gone? Or thought that there aren’t enough hours in the day for you to fit everything in that is expected of you as a mother, a wife and friend? Better yet, do you remember the last time you went on a date or spent quality time with your spouse?

Well that’s how I feel everyday and I know I’m not alone. After completing my basic everyday chores I am extremely exhausted. So lets fast track the day a bit, by now the kids are in bed and I am strongly yearning for ME time; time where I can unwind and let my mind wonder (or better yet think of all the things I need to get done for the next day). But it’s not as simple as that, because several years ago I said “I DO” and I have to remember that “He” also needs quality time and somehow I need to find a way to fit that time into an already crazy schedule.

Let’s be clear; husbands are not supposed to be another check box on our list of “To-Do’s.” However, lately, I literally have to pencil him in (mentally that is), and it’s not because I’m not madly in love with him like I was the day we met, but it’s just the reality of the demands on our hectic lives.

Balancing life is definitely a struggle, but “adult time” is what has helped me and my husband. We carve out time each day to make sure we stay connected and in-tune with each other. To keep our relationship current we set out a special time each day to “catch-up.” We also make a conscious effort to love each other in our primary “Love Language” (based on the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman).

What works for us: My husband is a romantic, always was, and I love that about him. He still sends me little text messages throughout the day or leaves little notes around the house to tell me how he feels about me. On any random day he may simply send me a song that he heard that reminds him of me, or he may come home with a flower he picked from the garden. It’s the little things he does that keeps our love alive, and the best thing is none of them cost a dime.

Marriage is what I call “a work in progress.” Every marriage is different and comes with its own “challenges,” I’m not naïve about that. We have figured out what works for us and are constantly working at our marriage, but because we are enjoying the journey it doesn’t feel like a job.

**Melissa has been a member of FIT4MOM LSBWK NoVa since November 2016 in our Springfield Village and is mom to Ariel (March 2009) and Addison (February 2016). She is also a Scentsy Consultant (

#marriageafterkids #marriage #qualitytime #datenight #parents #busylives #maketimeforus #wesaididoandwemeanit #makeadatewithyourspouse #unconditionallove #family

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